How "woman on beach" launched a 1000 ships in my brain...

Excuse me while I dust off my soapbox.  Oh you think I've been on it? That's cute.

No, really.  help a bitch up, it's taller than it used to be...

So, I somewhat understand the struggle of men to fully grasp the women's movement.  It isn't a thing of the past. It is going on right now, every day.  I know a lot of men (and women, but omg I just can't even!)  think that feminism is a nasty word.  I know some  people think feminists are man-haters. I get that those people are out there. But it has astounded me, recently, to learn just how many people do NOT understand the women's movement, the fight for women's rights, and the struggle for equality.

I spoke to one dude, (who argued with me at length about the role of Mary Magdalene in Jesus' life) who said that the sexual revolution ruined everything.  As you can imagine, my internet courtship with that one was brief.  I can't even get into that one without spinning off into a whole other blog entry.   It is clear that MOST people don't "get it".

And don't mistake me. This is not a victim speech.  Fuck that.  I can't stand victim mentality.  This is not a poor me thing. This is a  reality thing.  Our society is so impregnated with misogyny that we usually don't even recognize it. But like so many things, once you are awake you can not go back to sleep.  And when you're awake, you see it everywhere...how women are looked down on, felt sorry for, pitied, condescended to, and yes, victimized... but again, another blog.

I am just asking that people open their eyes.  One of the parting factors in my last relationship was that he really really really did not get the women's rights thing.  And I don't know how I'm supposed to lie down next to that and feel supported, when in fact, I'm really not.

I could give you a THOUSAND examples of it in the work place alone. Lest you think that corporate America has evolved and it's all good and equal and kum by ya...it's not. Not even fucking close.   But it extends so far beyond the office...it's such bullshit.

I encounter this fucked up thinking in the dating universe a lot. Which you should know if you have been reading this blog at all.  One of the most irritating things I've found recently is that men expect women to do or behave  or respond in certain ways.  For decades, men have not done or behaved or responded according to any paradigm except their own.  And lately, men seem to be acting a lot like women when women were being made fun of for being "needy".   But in the male embodiment, more than just a neediness, this has a sense of entitlement with it. Once a day I get a message that says something about how I should respond to his message.  Most recently "You don't have to respond, but it would be polite if you did". Well thank you for educating my obviously impolite, uneducated feminine self about fucking manners! It would also be polite if you didn't tell me how to respond.  Also it would be great if your message said ANYTHING other than JUST that.  Literally, all the message said was "Hi.  You don't have to respond but it would be polite if you did"

Can you imagine how badly I wanted to respond "fuck you. how's that?"

I know some of you reading this may think I'm just a bitter bitch. I'm not.  I have lots of male friends and colleagues and I do NOT hate them or think they are shit. But that is because they do not condescend to me or act like they are doing me a fucking favor by talking to me.

This thinking is PREVALENT, people!!

I was looking for a graphic today, of a "woman on a beach", and I was going to put some words over the image about nurturing your soul.

I found THIS.  Please note the tags for the photo: "lonely woman sitting on the beach".  I covered that up and called over my 13 year old son and said "What's this photo look like to you? Like, how do you think she feels in this?"
"Mmmmm, meditate-y? ...peaceful."
"Kay, thanks."

My 13 year old son gets it, but the majority of adults out there do not.  Why is a woman sitting alone on the beach LONELY? She looks happy as shit to me!! Sitting on a log, thinking "I sure am happy I have this time to myself, what a gift!  And I really like my new house keeper. I hope she works out.  I need to go to the store and get stuff for tacos.  Bob likes cabbage, so I gotta remember that. And I need to take bagels to work for training on Monday.  OK.  Shut up, brain. This is gorgeous. This is heaven.  I am so grateful to be sitting on this giant chunk of beach wood and staring at the vast ocean. YASSSSS!!! my life is good!"

She's not lonely, motherfuckers.  She's alone.  BIG DIFFERENCE!!! Why do we feel the need to feel sorry for women who aren't with a man?

My point in all of this is that we would be doing all of us a favor if we started looking at things without archaic labels and judgments that belong in a far less evolved era.  Help.  Help me.  Help you.  Help me help you!

I'm a woman. Not a toddler who needs chaperoning and instruction on social graces.

The end.